"You're sweet. Thank you." Hartley knew his blush must be amazingly obvious right now,but for just a few moments as he met Barry's eyes, it didn't even seem to matter. He wished he could just kiss him. He wished there wouldn't be consequences. Maybe it was the high from playing his music or maybe he was just incredibly stupid, but either way, Hartley leaned forward, put a hand on Barry's upper arm and, yes, he was definitely kissing him now.
Oh. Okay. So this was happening? Cool, cool, he was just ... kissing Hartley. Barry wasn't sure what to do or when this had evolved this way but he found himself kissing back. He was a little dumbfounded by the whole thing and when they broke away, he mostly just stared at Hartley. "Huh." That was his first kiss. And it was with a boy and not Iris. He so wouldn't have ever of predicted that. "Awesome." ... Well, he could have said worse things.
Barry actually liked it? That was even worse. Better? No, no, it was definitely worse. Hartley pulled away, actually moved quite a bit away, just in case he suddenly had urges he couldn't control again. It had been a good kiss. Damn. He should not have done this. "I'm sorry." This was so bad. So very bad. "I'm... I shouldn't have! I'm sorry."
"No, it's okay. It was... nice. I think. I'm sorry! I've never kissed before. It was really good for a first kiss but I don't have any references." Barry admittedly sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck. Hartley liked him? Well, good, he liked Hartley. He wasn't sure how much but he was a good person, he really did play beautifully and he always had his back. "I'm glad you like me." He looked at Hartley before he slid out of his seat and came closer to Hartley. "You do like me right?"
Barry was adorable. Hartley hoped there was someone to tell him that as often as it had to be said. His chest hurt and he hadn't really been prepared to deal with that. His fault for kissing him. Things had been easier when he hadn't been sure whether Barry... Anything. "I like you." That seemed fairly obvious at this juncture. "I still shouldn't have kissed you. It won't happen again."
"If you liked me when why -- I'm okay with it, you know that, right? Like. If you wanted to again. I liked it." Barry smiled shyly, feeling very awkward and trying to grasp why it wouldn't happen again. Did Hartley not want him? Did he do it badly? Was he misreading this? Oh man, this was a sudden headache and he felt a strange surge of confusion that didn't die down. He reached out and caught Hartley's arm gently. "I like you too."
Right, he was going to start crying. This couldn't possibly be fair. He even understood how Barry wasn't grasping this. He wasn't from their circles, he didn't have to spend more time worrying about propriety and the family name than anything else. He looked at Barry and said nothing at first, even reached out to hold his hand against the side of his face. Now he'd have to hurt him, hurt them both. He was trying to commit the moment to memory, the moment where things could have gone differently. "I can't be with a boy, Barry. You can do better than that."
"Oh." Hartley couldn't be gay? That was it, wasn't it? Barry felt a weird stab of sadness for Hartley. He couldn't even be himself. Not ever. How was that fair? How was that a life. "I'm sorry." Barry said and hell, he meant it. He came in closer and rested his forehead against Hartley's, feeling a strange wave of sadness for losing this thing he never even realised he could have had. A moment ago he had no idea and now he knew and it was strange. It was like he'd just lost. "I wish it was different... I guess it can't ever be, right?" This was it. Their brief moment. "There's no way?"
"No, there's no way. My parents aren't forward thinking." To say the least. Hartley move his hand to cup the back of Barry's neck, resisting the urge to slide his hand into his hair. It was so nice to be close to someone like that. This was sad, but he supposed ultimately it was the best outcome he could have hoped for. "Thank you for not hating me." Barry could have done so many bad things with this, but instead he'd at least have one great kiss and a beautiful 'what if' to remember. "I want you to know that you're beautiful. I really like you. You're amazing, don't forget that."
"I won't. And you have to know that you're handsome, you're talented and when you're older, you're going to be amazing, Hart. You're excel no matter what you do but... I think you should find a way to do what you want." Because he had a passion for music, he was creative, bright and he wasn't the puppet his parents needed him to be. He should try. He shouldn't be tied down. Barry smiled sadly and leaned forward, kissing Hartley's forehead gently before he pulled back, feeling pretty awkward. "Can we... can we still be friends? If it's too hard, I get it."
"It's fine. I'll still get to do what I want. Some of what I want, anyway." He had to focus on the bright side. But nothing was as bright as Barry. He wanted to kiss him again, he wanted to hold him and be with him. He wanted to be the person Barry saw him as. "I'm not strong enough to do it all." Lose everything he knew, because of who he was? Almost worth it. Almost. "I'd like to be your friend. You're the best friend I've ever had."
"You're not strong now but you will be. I think you're stronger than you think. And when you decide to make a stand, I got your back." He smiled and with great reluctance, he pulled away and edged towards the door. It was probably best to leave before this got any worse. "I mean it, we have to stay friends because I don't want to lose you. You're all I have here, Hart. You're my best friend too and I don't want to lose your company."
"You won't. I mean, I'm not very fun company and I barely have time, but if you ever need pants again, I'll be sure to keep another spare." Hartley smiled a little and wished he felt less heartbroken. This would be over eventually, the pain would fade. It wasn't as if he had lost much, really. They didn't know each other that well, they might have never been much. "This is making me a lot more sad than it should."
"I'm sorry, I don't know how to make it any less sad." He looked around, wishing he had something he could do. He eyed the guitar idly but thought now was not the time for a song. Not really. "I can sing you a happy song?" He wasn't really going to but he laughed anyway at the idea of singing a cheering up song to Hartley freaking Rathaway. "Or I can show myself out like a sane person."
"You're sweet." He was perfect. Hartley entertained the notion of suggesting a secret affair for just a moment, but then he just smiled a little instead and shook his head at his own thoughts, flute in his hand as he made himself pull away from Barry so he could walk over to the door and open it.
He hadn't expected to be faced with a boy who walked right in. He was even less prepared for someone wearing their school's uniform that he definitely hadn't seen before - he'd have remembered that. What he really hadn't expected was the subtle smile on that remarkably handsome face. "Did I interrupt the kissing?"
"We didn't kiss." Barry was quick to panic and not a great liar which is why he swiftly shut the door with one hand and spun that insane line because clearly this boy had seen them and this was a big deal for Hartley. No one could know so he had to deny like hell and hope to get away with it. "We did sort of slip and our faces touched but no lips on lips. We're not gay. That's-- that's, you know, like, gross?"
Is that what homophobes said? Like gross or evil. One or the other. He frowned at this kid, one he'd never really seen around before, and tried his best not to let himself get as uneasy as he felt. "So, yeah, you can go."
Leonard lifted his phone up, one of the pictures he'd taken very prominent on the display. Hartley wasn't really one for doing things halfway, this was definitely a kiss and there was no mistaking. Good angle, too, if Leonard said so himself.
He saw the Rathaway kid's eyes widen as he paled, but he took his cue when the eyes narrowed instead, so when Hartley came at him, he was ready. Leonard flipped Hartley over, making him fall hard on his back.
"Huh. Didn't really expect a fight. You get points, Rathaway. And who are you, loverboy?"
They were fighting. Oh man, this was spiralling fast. He shoved past Leonard and crouched down, partially in front of Hartley, trying to protect him. "Leave him alone." He'd already done enough. Was he seriously blackmailing Hartley or something? God. He hadn't even known these feelings a moment ago and now he was being blackmailed over it.
"None of your business. What do you want?" Barry was ready to fight if he had to but he wanted to solve this without violence. He wanted to talk this kid down.
"A concussion," Hartley growled, even though he was just now slowly sitting up, glaring at the boy's phone.
"Don't pin your hopes on it, I already sent them to a friend and my email address." He pretty much saw the heart sink in Hartley's chest. At least he was quick on the uptake. The other one seemed to be a bit slower.
"Leave him out of it." Hartley grabbed Barry by the shoulder and pulled him back. "He has no money anyway."
"I have money. How much do you want?" Barry didn't have his rent money but he understood how important this was so he was willing to give his own damn rent and food money to make sure this didn't get out. Money came and went, this meant a lot to Hartley. "You can't do this to him. What kind of jerk are you that you think you can just blackmail someone?"
Barry stood up full height and tried to square up Leonard, trying to look as dangerous as he could. On Barry? Not a great nor a convincing look but he tried.
"I'm a criminal," Leonard told Barry, rather unimpressed by his display, "This is what I do. Works well for me. What do you say, Rathaway, ten thousand for now? I'll open a dummy account and you can wire the money to me asap."
And so he could send him the account number, Leonard started to save his number to Hartley's phone, which he had taken when Hartley attacked him. He watched Hartley pat himself down when he saw the phone, then just lower his head, apparently resigned to his fate. "Leave it, Barry. I can deal with this."
"No. No, you're not giving him any money. You shouldn't even be in here." Barry was not going to just relent, he knew there was little he could do but he was just angry on Hartley's behalf. It wasn't even like he was going to get to date him and he was getting shit for it already, it wasn't fair. Barry moved forward swiftly and snatched Hartley's phone back out of Leonard's hands.
And, because he was on a protective high, he shoved Leonard. Hard. "You're a scumbag. You don't deserve any of his money."
"Sure I don't. Ain't mean I'm not gonna get it, does it?" Leonard looked at Barry and smirked, then stepped back instead of punching him. Couldn't really blame him for protecting his boyfriend, who was glowering at him, but underneath it looked pretty ready to fall apart. "How about you kiss it better for him? Anyway, Rathaway, Barry? Pleasure working with you."
Barry gritted his teeth hard and wished he could throw a punch at that smug face, he wished he could hurt him but in the end, he looked down and relented. Fuck. He hated this. He hated it so much. "We're not dating, you asshole." He felt a surge of guilt inside him. This was on him, he let Hartley down because he wasn't strong or smart, he wasn't sure how to stop this from happening. He watched Leonard leave and he felt so much fury. He turned back and looked at Hartley. All that hurt and pain, it made him ache. "I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault, Barry." How had things escalated like this? Barry hating him for kissing him would be better than this. He didn't even know this boy, he had no way of knowing whether or not he could actually keep him from publishing those pictures. That's what he got for not controlling himself. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to kiss you." It was as simple as that. Now he had to figure out how to even get ten thousand dollar he could actually send to some bank account without his parents' knowledge. "I'll pay him off. It's fine."
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Damn.
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He hadn't expected to be faced with a boy who walked right in. He was even less prepared for someone wearing their school's uniform that he definitely hadn't seen before - he'd have remembered that. What he really hadn't expected was the subtle smile on that remarkably handsome face. "Did I interrupt the kissing?"
Oh no.
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Is that what homophobes said? Like gross or evil. One or the other. He frowned at this kid, one he'd never really seen around before, and tried his best not to let himself get as uneasy as he felt. "So, yeah, you can go."
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He saw the Rathaway kid's eyes widen as he paled, but he took his cue when the eyes narrowed instead, so when Hartley came at him, he was ready. Leonard flipped Hartley over, making him fall hard on his back.
"Huh. Didn't really expect a fight. You get points, Rathaway. And who are you, loverboy?"
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They were fighting. Oh man, this was spiralling fast. He shoved past Leonard and crouched down, partially in front of Hartley, trying to protect him. "Leave him alone." He'd already done enough. Was he seriously blackmailing Hartley or something? God. He hadn't even known these feelings a moment ago and now he was being blackmailed over it.
"None of your business. What do you want?" Barry was ready to fight if he had to but he wanted to solve this without violence. He wanted to talk this kid down.
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"A concussion," Hartley growled, even though he was just now slowly sitting up, glaring at the boy's phone.
"Don't pin your hopes on it, I already sent them to a friend and my email address." He pretty much saw the heart sink in Hartley's chest. At least he was quick on the uptake. The other one seemed to be a bit slower.
"Leave him out of it." Hartley grabbed Barry by the shoulder and pulled him back. "He has no money anyway."
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Barry stood up full height and tried to square up Leonard, trying to look as dangerous as he could. On Barry? Not a great nor a convincing look but he tried.
"Leave him alone!"
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And so he could send him the account number, Leonard started to save his number to Hartley's phone, which he had taken when Hartley attacked him. He watched Hartley pat himself down when he saw the phone, then just lower his head, apparently resigned to his fate. "Leave it, Barry. I can deal with this."
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And, because he was on a protective high, he shoved Leonard. Hard. "You're a scumbag. You don't deserve any of his money."
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