catchacold | Babysitter's Club

"It's just annoying. I was hoping when I found my birth parents, they'd be cool. Instead, they're this." Axel put his head in his hands and then slowly ran it up into his hair, tugging on it a little. "I'm going to look like an idiot, everyone kept telling me he was a dick and I said he wasn't. I didn't know." He did. He was just in denial. He wanted something good in his life so much, he may have forced the idea.

"I'm sorry I dragged you here."

"Ain't my first time here, kid. Ain't gonna be my last time either." Leonard turned at a corner and frowned, then finally made up his mind and waited by the next red light, figuring this was the way to go for now. "Nobody's gonna say anything, Ax. If you milk it, Hartley's gonna cuddle you. All good."

"I don't want to. I mean I want cuddles but it's embarrassing. I'm just gonna downplay it." Axel sighed and pulled his knees up, holding them against him in a sort of hug, head buried against his knees. "Man, I fell for it. I totally fell for it. He told me he loved me and he wanted to be with me. He hung up one of my drawings. I did it for him. This proves my point. Trying is pointless! Who even cares?"

"Cause you don't try for the people that should love you but don't, but for the ones that do love you and the ones that need you. Simple as. I try for Lisa. I try for Mick. I try for Teddy. I try for you and Hartley. Hartley needs you too, you gotta know that. Teddy needs you. You're Lisa's best friend." Just pointing all that out and then Leonard parked the car in the parking area of a shopping centre, waiting for Axel to join him once he got out the car.

"I guess. I just wanted what everyone else had. Or has. I just wanted something normal, like a proper family that wouldn't just get rid of me." Axel got out of the car with his hands in his pockets, fighting back the sadness he felt. He kind of wanted to curl up and cry but he knew that wasn't an option. He followed after Leonard instead, trying not to lag behind. "I was dumb, I won't do it again."

Leonard didn't point out that none of his friends had that, unless he counted Teddy, because he knew it wasn't really about that. Instead he was silent as he walked into the shopping centre, heading up the escalator next to Axel and approaching a very pink looking store that proudly proclaimed to be the one stop shop for all baking needs. "You got a wallet in your pocket. Quite a bit of money in it. That's your budget for now."

He said nothing more as he entered the shop with Axel, looking around. "Airbrushing cakes? All right, that's actually cool."

"Huh?" He pulled the wallet from his pocket and frowned, looking around the show and trying to get his head around what was happening. Why were they in a store for baking? What was happening? He wasn't that skilled at baking, he sucked at this kind of thing, he was always too lazy to cook and he didn't know how well he could bake. He stuck close to Leonard, not sure what he wanted.

"Yeah, that's kinda cool. Kinda weird too." He sort of poked the tools, a look of doubt on his face. This didn't feel like his scene. "I guess it'd be fun to play with."

"Just buy some things that look fun to you then. I mean, it's all edible, so in the end of the day, we know Mick will love it." Simple as that. Leonard looked around and picked up some tools that looked so intricate they reminded him of the tools he used on the job and he absently threw them into the basket he'd grabbed. "What looks fun to you?"

Axel shrugged. He was about as forth coming as most teenage boys when people were trying to motivate them to give a shit. He was feeling pretty down, he didn't feel like going to work later and he didn't care much for whatever Leonard was trying to do. But it was Leonard and he was trying to help him. And like he said, Axel needed to react to the love he got from those who gave a shit.

So in the spirit of trying to be less of an awkward dick, he picked up some packets of icing. He liked the colours. He guessed while he was here, he could get the stuff for Teddy's cake and practise. "I guess this stuff is fun."

"You can go back some other day, Ax." Leonard let Axel put what he had gotten into the basket and then, since he really thought it looked cool, he got an airbrushing kit that came with some colours. What? It looked neat. "At least you can make cupcakes." Leonard shrugged and looked around. "See anything else that you like?"

Axel grabbed some stuff, tossing them the basket. Little edible pictures and fun stuff. He got a lot of red and yellow icing and some black. He tried to look more into this but he was feeling a little devastated and that did get in the way of his happiness right now. Once he had all of the stuff he liked, he looked at Leonard and smiled weakly. "Thanks. I guess at least I'll have something to do tonight. Though I don't trust this shit in my crappy apartment, it'd get robbed."

"You should stay over. Enough space on the couch for two and I trust you not to get up to anything funny." Not with Hartley, not this quickly and definitely not with Mick, Teddy and him in the next room. Leonard thought for a moment, then started walking to the cashier, paying quickly. He carried the bag and waited for Axel to catch up to him. "How do you feel about destroying things right now?"

"Thank God it's a fold out couch. I won't get funny with him, I know the house rules." They were on the fridge, written by Mick and in all caps was AXEL KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY SITTER and Axel wasn't dumb enough to miss that point. He followed behind Leonard, head down, hating himself and his dad a lot right now. "A lot. I want to go blow some shit up."

He looked at Leonard and shrugged his shoulders. "He hurt me, I can't hurt him so I want to hurt something."

"Right." Leonard stopped by the next store, which had a lot of supplies for crafting and the like, but, most importantly... "Grab some spray bottles, Axel." Leonard waited for him outside, checking his watch and sending Mick a message to keep him somewhat up to date.

Axel smirked and rushed in, grabbing what he needed and coming about out with a bag full of spray cans. He looked at Leonard and raised an eyebrow, holding up his bag of stuff. "Check it, I got a lot of colours." And a book on cake decorating but he wasn't going to tell Leonard that. He wanted to work this out by himself.

"Excellent." Leonard looked around and then headed for the fire exit, quickly disabling the alarm and holding the door open for Axel. He followed behind him and headed up the stairs outside the building, opening the door back inside. "They're renovating this floor. Some shops are already started, cameras ain't set up yet. The exit we took is a blind spot." Leonard did his research.

"How about you play for a while and I go get milk and stuff for dinner? I'll text you when I'm done. Make sure to leave no trace that this was you and make sure to leave a message."

"Gotcha. See you in a sec." Axel set his bag down and started raiding the colours before he got to work. It ended up as a rainbow bear roaring towards the the sky and what he roared out was 'Family first'. Axel added a little cub underneath the bears legs and took a step back, smiling a little. Father and son. Bit like Mick and Teddy. He tossed his empty cans into the bag and when Leonard text him, he slid down and hurried back to where Leonard was.

"Sup, Lenny."

"Nothing. I got those disgusting sugar drinks you like, you want one?" Leonard held it out for Axel, smirking. "Now that you've exhaled pain fumes, might as well get you high on sugar too. You ready to go?"

He reached out and rubbed a smudge of paint off Axel's cheek.

"Cool, it's blue soda! I love blue drinks. Blue is pretty healthy, I think it's like a fruit." Axel took the soda and grinned as he looked it over. Finally, he lower the can and came in closer to Leonard, pulling him into a hug like he did before. He knew Leonard didn't like contact and honestly, Axel wasn't fond of positive contact either but he had a crappy day and the only bright spark was Leonard.

He clung to him and buried his head into the other's shoulder, taking a moment to just seek comfort. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you. I should have. You're always good to me. I love you."

"That's fine, Ax. I ain't good to you so you'll listen to whatever I say. I want you to think for yourself and make your own choices. I want your respect. But mostly you gotta respect yourself." And he could tell that Axel wasn't good at that. Hell, anyone could tell that. Leonard held him close, for once, even if it was a lot of contact. "Your father doesn't deserve you."

"It's hard. I dunno. I'm stuck and I don't know the way out and I wanted my dad to help me." Axel admitted as he closed his eyes and focused on Leonard, the only person he felt could give a shit right now. He knew others would, he knew Lisa and Hartley cared but right now, he just needed someone like Leonard. "I hate my job, I hate all of this and I just want everything to be okay already."

Leonard carded his fingers through Axel's hair, dismissing his own discomfort in favour of comforting Axel. He waited for the boy to talk by himself, only prompting him slightly. "What's keeping you from quitting the job?"

"Money. I need money. I'm not old enough to legally live alone, I'd have to go back to care and I can't do that. Besides, the people there... they'd never let me leave." He pulled back because he knew that even if he was enjoying this, Leonard probably wasn't. He'd teared up a little and he swiftly tried to wipe it away with his hand. "If I go back to school then I have to go back to care."

"How about staying with Mick and us?" Leonard might not be there full-time - yet - but those were all things in the works, as he'd told Axel earlier today. "That ain't an option?" Because it ought to be. "You're old enough, if you have a place to stay at and Mick is letting you, the system's gonna let you hang around. You'd just have to be on best behaviour or you could endanger Mick's chances of keeping Teddy too."

"I dunno if they'd let me. It's a whole system and I was trying to avoid attention. Besides, I don't want to risk Teddy." He wanted to but he felt like of uneasy. What if he fucked up? He nearly always fucked up. "I always fuck up, it's what I do. What if I fucked up and I risked Teddy? He needs his dad and Mick is such a good dad!" And he couldn't ruin that. He couldn't take that away from the kid.

Babysitter's Club

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