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[catchacold]

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[gotspeed]

"I've heard you play, you'd be an amazing musician. You should go for it. I heard you playing the flute while I was in the hall not long ago, it was amazing." He smiled at Hartley and bumped his shoulders against his, their hands briefly touching, almost holding. "Are you still free?" Given neither of them had class now but nothing got out until another hour, he was just wondering how much more of Hartley's time he could steal.

[mostlyajerk]

Hartley opened his mouth to tell Barry that he obviously could not be a musician for various reasons, but his mind reeled from the suddenly gained knowledge that Barry had heard him play and that he liked it. What was worse, Barry was suddenly so close. He had to get out of this. He had to get away from him quickly. "I have music practise scheduled, actually."

[gotspeed]

"You do? Can I come watch you?" Barry asked curiously because he really did like the way that Hartley played. It wasn't often he heard the flute these days. He tilted his head to the side and gave Hartley a frown... why did he look like he was having a melt down? His eye was almost twitching. "I don't have to! It'd just be cool. I can show you my skills. I can kind of play guitar and I sing."

[mostlyajerk]

"No, it's fine." He so wasn't ready to hear Barry sing or play anything, because whether he was good or bad, it would have effects he really didn't want. A distant, pleasant crush, was that really too much to ask for? Hartley couldn't think of a reason to tell him not to come, so here he was, stuck. "Of course you can come watch. It's not going to be very interesting, I just try to get some free time every day." Free time was practise time for him.

[gotspeed]

"Brilliant." It wasn't far to the music room and Barry rushed ahead to hold the door open for Hartley. Once they were inside, Barry wandered around the room, pausing a the guitar and playfully running his fingers along the strings. "So does the school own these or do people own them?" He turned around and almost fell into the drum kit, only just stopping the cymbal from falling. "... Sorry, my bad!"

[mostlyajerk]

"They're owned by the school." Hartley took his bag off and pulled out his flute, opening the case. He held it up and put it together, looking at Barry. "I own the flute." It wasn't as expensive as it could have been, under the thousand dollar price tag, but it had a beautiful sound and look, so he was very happy with it even so. "Try not to break anything school owned. I'm only allowed to use the room without supervision because of my good track record." He smirked briefly. "And because of how much money my parents give the school."

[gotspeed]

"It's beautiful." He moved away from all the breakable things and sat himself down, pulling the guitar with him so he had something to play with. He strummed it and then winced... it wasn't well tuned. He started tightening one of the strings and looked at Hartley, smiling at him. "Play for me!" Well, he was a demanding guy, what could he say? He wanted to hear him. "Play that one you played last time when I walked by, it was great. It was sort of like..." He started to try and hum it. It wasn't massively helpful.

[mostlyajerk]

"I don't know what you think you're doing, but I can assure you it's not resembling any song I've ever played." What? No need to lie to him, just because he was cute. Hartley put the mouthpiece on and led it to his lips and started playing. It was difficult to pretend that Barry wasn't listening to him, but he did his best. Playing music for the guy he liked. His life couldn't get worse while still fulfilling his dreams.

[gotspeed]

Barry listened to him, his leg getting pulled up as he simply hugged his one leg and listened to him with such attention and admiration, he was in awe of the way he played and the look on his face as he did it. He was nervous, he could tell but he could also tell Hartley enjoyed it. Once he finished, Barry clapped his hands playfully. "Amazing!" He laughed and dropped his leg back down. "You're so good."

[mostlyajerk]

"You're sweet. Thank you." Hartley knew his blush must be amazingly obvious right now,but for just a few moments as he met Barry's eyes, it didn't even seem to matter. He wished he could just kiss him. He wished there wouldn't be consequences. Maybe it was the high from playing his music or maybe he was just incredibly stupid, but either way, Hartley leaned forward, put a hand on Barry's upper arm and, yes, he was definitely kissing him now.

Damn.

[gotspeed]

Oh. Okay. So this was happening? Cool, cool, he was just ... kissing Hartley. Barry wasn't sure what to do or when this had evolved this way but he found himself kissing back. He was a little dumbfounded by the whole thing and when they broke away, he mostly just stared at Hartley. "Huh." That was his first kiss. And it was with a boy and not Iris. He so wouldn't have ever of predicted that. "Awesome." ... Well, he could have said worse things.

[mostlyajerk]

Barry actually liked it? That was even worse. Better? No, no, it was definitely worse. Hartley pulled away, actually moved quite a bit away, just in case he suddenly had urges he couldn't control again. It had been a good kiss. Damn. He should not have done this. "I'm sorry." This was so bad. So very bad. "I'm... I shouldn't have! I'm sorry."

[gotspeed]

"No, it's okay. It was... nice. I think. I'm sorry! I've never kissed before. It was really good for a first kiss but I don't have any references." Barry admittedly sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck. Hartley liked him? Well, good, he liked Hartley. He wasn't sure how much but he was a good person, he really did play beautifully and he always had his back. "I'm glad you like me." He looked at Hartley before he slid out of his seat and came closer to Hartley. "You do like me right?"

[mostlyajerk]

Barry was adorable. Hartley hoped there was someone to tell him that as often as it had to be said. His chest hurt and he hadn't really been prepared to deal with that. His fault for kissing him. Things had been easier when he hadn't been sure whether Barry... Anything. "I like you." That seemed fairly obvious at this juncture. "I still shouldn't have kissed you. It won't happen again."

[gotspeed]

"If you liked me when why -- I'm okay with it, you know that, right? Like. If you wanted to again. I liked it." Barry smiled shyly, feeling very awkward and trying to grasp why it wouldn't happen again. Did Hartley not want him? Did he do it badly? Was he misreading this? Oh man, this was a sudden headache and he felt a strange surge of confusion that didn't die down. He reached out and caught Hartley's arm gently. "I like you too."

[mostlyajerk]

Right, he was going to start crying. This couldn't possibly be fair. He even understood how Barry wasn't grasping this. He wasn't from their circles, he didn't have to spend more time worrying about propriety and the family name than anything else. He looked at Barry and said nothing at first, even reached out to hold his hand against the side of his face. Now he'd have to hurt him, hurt them both. He was trying to commit the moment to memory, the moment where things could have gone differently. "I can't be with a boy, Barry. You can do better than that."

[gotspeed]

"Oh." Hartley couldn't be gay? That was it, wasn't it? Barry felt a weird stab of sadness for Hartley. He couldn't even be himself. Not ever. How was that fair? How was that a life. "I'm sorry." Barry said and hell, he meant it. He came in closer and rested his forehead against Hartley's, feeling a strange wave of sadness for losing this thing he never even realised he could have had. A moment ago he had no idea and now he knew and it was strange. It was like he'd just lost. "I wish it was different... I guess it can't ever be, right?" This was it. Their brief moment. "There's no way?"

[mostlyajerk]

"No, there's no way. My parents aren't forward thinking." To say the least. Hartley move his hand to cup the back of Barry's neck, resisting the urge to slide his hand into his hair. It was so nice to be close to someone like that. This was sad, but he supposed ultimately it was the best outcome he could have hoped for. "Thank you for not hating me." Barry could have done so many bad things with this, but instead he'd at least have one great kiss and a beautiful 'what if' to remember. "I want you to know that you're beautiful. I really like you. You're amazing, don't forget that."

[gotspeed]

"I won't. And you have to know that you're handsome, you're talented and when you're older, you're going to be amazing, Hart. You're excel no matter what you do but... I think you should find a way to do what you want." Because he had a passion for music, he was creative, bright and he wasn't the puppet his parents needed him to be. He should try. He shouldn't be tied down. Barry smiled sadly and leaned forward, kissing Hartley's forehead gently before he pulled back, feeling pretty awkward. "Can we... can we still be friends? If it's too hard, I get it."

[mostlyajerk]

"It's fine. I'll still get to do what I want. Some of what I want, anyway." He had to focus on the bright side. But nothing was as bright as Barry. He wanted to kiss him again, he wanted to hold him and be with him. He wanted to be the person Barry saw him as. "I'm not strong enough to do it all." Lose everything he knew, because of who he was? Almost worth it. Almost. "I'd like to be your friend. You're the best friend I've ever had."

[gotspeed]

"You're not strong now but you will be. I think you're stronger than you think. And when you decide to make a stand, I got your back." He smiled and with great reluctance, he pulled away and edged towards the door. It was probably best to leave before this got any worse. "I mean it, we have to stay friends because I don't want to lose you. You're all I have here, Hart. You're my best friend too and I don't want to lose your company."

[mostlyajerk]

"You won't. I mean, I'm not very fun company and I barely have time, but if you ever need pants again, I'll be sure to keep another spare." Hartley smiled a little and wished he felt less heartbroken. This would be over eventually, the pain would fade. It wasn't as if he had lost much, really. They didn't know each other that well, they might have never been much. "This is making me a lot more sad than it should."

[gotspeed]

"I'm sorry, I don't know how to make it any less sad." He looked around, wishing he had something he could do. He eyed the guitar idly but thought now was not the time for a song. Not really. "I can sing you a happy song?" He wasn't really going to but he laughed anyway at the idea of singing a cheering up song to Hartley freaking Rathaway. "Or I can show myself out like a sane person."

[mostlyajerk]

"You're sweet." He was perfect. Hartley entertained the notion of suggesting a secret affair for just a moment, but then he just smiled a little instead and shook his head at his own thoughts, flute in his hand as he made himself pull away from Barry so he could walk over to the door and open it.

He hadn't expected to be faced with a boy who walked right in. He was even less prepared for someone wearing their school's uniform that he definitely hadn't seen before - he'd have remembered that. What he really hadn't expected was the subtle smile on that remarkably handsome face. "Did I interrupt the kissing?"

Oh no.

[gotspeed]

"We didn't kiss." Barry was quick to panic and not a great liar which is why he swiftly shut the door with one hand and spun that insane line because clearly this boy had seen them and this was a big deal for Hartley. No one could know so he had to deny like hell and hope to get away with it. "We did sort of slip and our faces touched but no lips on lips. We're not gay. That's-- that's, you know, like, gross?"

Is that what homophobes said? Like gross or evil. One or the other. He frowned at this kid, one he'd never really seen around before, and tried his best not to let himself get as uneasy as he felt. "So, yeah, you can go."