Babysitter's Club

[catchacold]

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[boilover]

Depends on if someone can watch Teddy. As always.

You?

[catchacold]

Don't you have an army of babysitters by now?

Anyway. Lisa's at a party, old man's busy. I'm free.

[boilover]

I got two. Axel said he's busy, shockingly, and Hartley is here but he looks kind of tired. I don't want sleepy people with my boy. Maybe if he brightens up.

If you're free, I can try and make time.

[catchacold]

I can do things alone if you can't get away. Not that exciting anyway.

But give Hartley some coffee. Why is he tired anyway?

[boilover]

I'd like to go out. I never get to. My social life is moms at the park.

He never sleeps, he's weird. Maybe if you could convince Axel to team up... and not hit on him. Don't ruin my kid with your kid.

[catchacold]

We can do something fun, Mick. And maybe pull a job or two.

Look, I've told you before. If Axel meets your boy, he's bound to hit on him.

[boilover]

maybe. It'd be good. I miss drinking and not having to worry every five seconds. Teddy is making a weird wheezing noise, freaks me out.

I guess it's inevitable. I think Hartley has better taste.

[catchacold]

Teddy's fine, Mick. Relax. Life's good, you're a good dad. You deserve a break.

Not a chance. Your Hartley's just a horny teen like any other.

[boilover]

Why us he making that noise then???? I worry!

No, don't say that. Come on. I don't want to risk them screwing in my place.

[catchacold]

Because he's human and human beings make sounds. He's fine, Mick.

Well, Hartley probably wouldn't do that, at least. He's ridiculously responsible.

[boilover]

But it's odd. What if he has asthma? But like tiny baby asthma?

He is. You like him now? Told you, he's a good one

[catchacold]

No such thing. If he had asthma, it'd be a lot more obvious. Just relax. You make sounds all the time too.

I never disliked him, just didn't know him. Also, something is still off about him.

[boilover]

Yeah but he's tiny and vulnerable. I worry he'll get sick or hurt. I won't! I'll be okay.

Really? Like what?

[catchacold]

He is, but he's a healthy young boy. He'll be fine. Just relax with me for a while.

For one thing he's allegedly finished high school, knows several languages and he fixed or improved most of your appliances. He's what, twelve?

[boilover]

Fine. If you say so then I'll trust you.

He's like 15. He's a cute kid, I think he's a genius or something. He was raised so fancy, bet he had a good life. He ain't lying either.

[catchacold]

Thanks. And, yes, you can call your babysitter every half hour anyway.

So? That doesn't seem off to you? All fancy, has manners, genius, but lives on the streets?

Strange.

[boilover]

I'll be relaxed and calm... and only call every hour.

He's gay and he got disowned.

Could be old money? They're dicks like that.

[catchacold]

Wow, I'm impressed with your chill.

Probably. If he is old money and I find out whose old money, can I use him to get money?

[boilover]

An hour is entirely reasonable. He could take a turn for the worst or fall. He could bump his head and it might brain damage him and

Hmm. Eh. Maybe I'll just stay in. Just in case.

I asked, he won't tell. I keep trying, I'll get it out of him. Did you see that flute he keeps trying to hide?

[catchacold]

You'll come out with me. I get scared alone.

Yeah. Looks expensive. Not that I know what a cheap flute would look like.

[boilover]

FINE

I'll just check in. Once or twice

Looks pricey, he hoards it away to gotta be worth something.

[catchacold]

I'll wear tight jeans and support you being paranoid.

Could be sentimental value, these kids hoard all kinds of weird stuff. I guess he can play?

[boilover]

You're such a good boyfriend. Sorry I'm weird about the kid.

He can,i heard him, pretty damn good. He plays for Teddy. And sometimes he talks in like... Spanish? I think. Teddy loves it.

[catchacold]

I get it. I just think you need to take some time for yourself too. You're stressed.

Yes, Spanish. Teddy is copying it, he's not very good. But I don't know. See, I got a normal homeless kid, yours is a freak.

[boilover]

I know, it's just that I can't help it. He's so little and he's mine. I gotta worry.

I dunno if I want him knowing another language already. It'll confuse me! And come on, he ain't a freak. Yours is just a trainwreck